Audio Stories | Brain Injury Survivor Stories

“Shelter-in-place” and its stricter alter ego, “lockdown,” have shown us that liquor stores are officially essential while recovery meetings are nonessential. Does anyone else see a problem here?

In the relatively populated northeast US, things are starting to shut down in response to the COVID-19 epidemic. Businesses, organizations and schools are closing down. Events are canceled. Behaviors are escalating to a point still somewhere below panic, but only by a few notches. It’s crunch time, and life as we know it is entering a more challenging phase.

Recovery is also entering a more challenging phase.

You’ve heard me refer to The Pillars of Recovery. These are five fundamental elements for a healthy, successful recovery from addiction. They consist of knowledge, mentoring, service and a belief system, but the real head of this short list is community. With “social distance” becoming the new normal, this version of self-imposed isolation is potentially dangerous for we who need community for recovery. Many venues and facilities that normally host meetings are mandating cancellation. While best for public health, it doesn’t bode well for our collective mental health.

Something I try to do in times of adversity—and encourage the same of others—is think about how I’ll remember this moment at a later time. Will I be able to think about how I stepped up to meet challenges, had the grace to be understanding and kind to my fellows when they needed it, and generally conducted myself like a good man in recovery? If I can apply those standards to my thoughts, feelings and behaviors in difficult situations and circumstances, I can respect myself for being that upgraded version I know I’m capable of.

I can even take that one step further. When I was thinking about remembering the present from a point in the future, did you notice how I used the past tense of the action words stepped, had and conducted? I’m looking back at myself in this moment and fully capturing in my mind how it would feel as if I were looking back at something I did well. I’m feeling the healthy self-respect, the satisfaction, and even the gratitude… for being the best version of myself I can be in this challenging present moment. When I think those thoughts, and make those feelings so real in my mind that it feels like reality, sealing the deal with gratitude, I’m actually making myself better.

My body responds physiologically; my brain even changes a little bit. Basically, that’s how Infinite Recovery works. Too often, and unintentionally, we use these principles of neuroscience and epigenetics to make ourselves anxious and depressed. With this new version of recovery, we work smart, not hard, to change ourselves for the better.

So, what if I can embrace this unknown territory, this strange time in history, as an opportunity? How can I make these lemons into lemonade? I literally have the choice to live in a low vibration state of survival, or a higher vibration state of creation. When I think about it that way, it’s pretty obvious. That’s why I have made myself a list of things to do daily, short-term and longer-term. I actually wrote out a list.

Daily, I meditate twice, do a challenging workout, go for a walk, and engage with The Infinite Recovery Support and Discussion Group. This group, incidentally, is a readily accessible form of community. If you haven’t checked it out, please have a look. Also on that list are written reminders for me to do things like nurture myself and think constructively.

Short-term goals like finishing my taxes (done), reading new books, household and outside projects as weather permits are included. Oh, the late March newsletter…

Longer-term goals are to work on and finish up that PowerPoint presentation I started months ago, and submit a proposal to present it at a seminar later this year!

You get the idea? How can you adapt similar ideas to your own life? What can you create?

And what can we create as a group of people in recovery? I think the answer to that lies with you who are reading this. We have established something here, a group of people from around the world, and it has served our basic needs for mutual support, communication, and building better understanding of recovery. So, the answer to the question is not what we can do as individuals; it’s about asking “What can we do collectively?”

Challenging times call for bold responses. The survival feelings of isolation, boredom, loneliness, and confusion will make me panicked. The creation feelings of confidence, connectedness and a sense of opportunity can bring me to a new level of self-discovery. This is a huge growth opportunity for all of us.

In this challenging time, how can this group better serve its members? We have a 24/7 online, interactive community. That is something powerful. So, can I count on all of you? If you know someone who could benefit from being in this group at this time, please invite them. If you are someone who is struggling, possibly feeling isolated or worse, can you overcome that horrible feeling and let us know that you’re hurting? And conversely, can the ones who are doing okay go that little extra distance to reach out and show compassion for those in need? This is it friends, we are now playing in the bonus round, and the stakes are high. I know I can count on you.

Who’s with me? I’ve started zoom meetings for the group. I’m spontaneously posting when I’m available to chat live—please connect with me. Getting to know you better is my privilege. I’ve had some amazing conversations with some of you already. Thanks for participating, and thank you all for being so excellent.

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